This was probably written in December 1980, when I was 14. Discovering it in my dad's papers today surprised me; I forgot I had shared these intimate memories with him.
Once there was a little girl whose daddy loved her, but he went away, and he could only love her on weekends. She could remember when he went away. It was summer, and hot. The little girl and her big brother came home from a camping trip to a dark house. Her mommy had turned all the lights off the keep the bugs away from the baby, who was crying anyway. It was a sad house, and the little girl's mommy had something sad to say. She said that the little girl's daddy wouldn't be living with them anymore. She said the word "divorce," but the only thing the little girl understood was that her daddy was not going to be there anymore. The only thing she understood was the loss. This made the little girl sad.
She was sad for a long time. She was sad when she sat in the dark in a car and the night demons tried to get her while she waited for her mommy. She was sad when she had to spend the night away from her mommy at the mean babysittter's house instead of with her daddy, maybe. And she was very sad when she had to move far away from her home, far from her friends, and further away from her daddy, who already lived two hours apart. She had to leave it all behind.
The little girl had to "cope with" a lot and "adapt to" a lot in her new big city, and she was frightened. She was desperate for a good home life, and her mommy did her best, but there was always something missing, even though there was something added in the form of her mommy's boyfriend. The picture was not complete, and the girl yearned.
After a while, her daddy, who had a new wife, moved to the same city she was in. In the winter the girl went to live with her daddy, in an attempt at completeness. It was nice, but too neat, and the little girl went home to where her mommy lived. She was happy with her daddy for a while, but she began to feel that although he loved her, all those years apart had separated them, and he had forgotten quite how.
The girl's daddy moved again, in the same city, but to a better house, so the girl went to visit him. She forgot the house number and the street, however, and got lost. She walked all around right near the right place, but couldn't find it, and it started to rain. After hours, and the darkness had settled in, she called her sister, who called her daddy, who came to get her. When she saw him, she wanted to give him a big hug and kiss and say "I love you, Daddy," but the car had bucket seats, so she had to settle for a small squeeze and a small "Thank you."
The little girl's desire to get close to her daddy increased to a point of sadness for her. She wanted to know him, but he seemed to hold back, so she did too, until Christmas, when she gave him a piece of paper that said
I love you, Daddy.
Once there was a little girl whose daddy loved her, but he went away, and he could only love her on weekends. She could remember when he went away. It was summer, and hot. The little girl and her big brother came home from a camping trip to a dark house. Her mommy had turned all the lights off the keep the bugs away from the baby, who was crying anyway. It was a sad house, and the little girl's mommy had something sad to say. She said that the little girl's daddy wouldn't be living with them anymore. She said the word "divorce," but the only thing the little girl understood was that her daddy was not going to be there anymore. The only thing she understood was the loss. This made the little girl sad.
She was sad for a long time. She was sad when she sat in the dark in a car and the night demons tried to get her while she waited for her mommy. She was sad when she had to spend the night away from her mommy at the mean babysittter's house instead of with her daddy, maybe. And she was very sad when she had to move far away from her home, far from her friends, and further away from her daddy, who already lived two hours apart. She had to leave it all behind.
The little girl had to "cope with" a lot and "adapt to" a lot in her new big city, and she was frightened. She was desperate for a good home life, and her mommy did her best, but there was always something missing, even though there was something added in the form of her mommy's boyfriend. The picture was not complete, and the girl yearned.
After a while, her daddy, who had a new wife, moved to the same city she was in. In the winter the girl went to live with her daddy, in an attempt at completeness. It was nice, but too neat, and the little girl went home to where her mommy lived. She was happy with her daddy for a while, but she began to feel that although he loved her, all those years apart had separated them, and he had forgotten quite how.
The girl's daddy moved again, in the same city, but to a better house, so the girl went to visit him. She forgot the house number and the street, however, and got lost. She walked all around right near the right place, but couldn't find it, and it started to rain. After hours, and the darkness had settled in, she called her sister, who called her daddy, who came to get her. When she saw him, she wanted to give him a big hug and kiss and say "I love you, Daddy," but the car had bucket seats, so she had to settle for a small squeeze and a small "Thank you."
The little girl's desire to get close to her daddy increased to a point of sadness for her. She wanted to know him, but he seemed to hold back, so she did too, until Christmas, when she gave him a piece of paper that said
I love you, Daddy.
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