Really Good Grief
When my father died, grief took on its own life.
  • Grief Blog
  • Home

Dead Man's Socks

2/13/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture
Dad was a sock man. He like to match his sock color to his shirts. Though my stepmother Carol made him get rid of a lot of his candy-colored short sleeve shirts (benefitting me in the '80s, when I liked to dress butch), he amassed quite a collection of socks of colors far beyond black, brown, white and blue.

A couple days ago, thirteen months after his death, Carol and my sister Amanda and I met to clear out his closet. He had a couple different shoe sizes, a range of pant sizes, and very consistent shirt sizing: 16-1/2 - 33. And he had about 30 pairs of socks. There was a rainbow of single-color Polo socks, a couple pairs of mild-mannered dress socks, and a bunch of themed socks: sailboats, Mozart, a souvenir pair from Canada. Most of these were gifts from Nadine.

Nadine is one of Dad's great friends. She lives up the street on 5th Avenue and her kids grew up alongside my half-brother. On the day Dad died, Nadine was doing dishes when she suddenly felt drawn his house. She ran down the street and came in to find a ring of family holding Dad as his life wound down. 

She was there to join us in grief. She also joined in washing, anointing, and dressing Dad's body. It was her idea to put the Orcas Island socks on his feet, socks she'd brought him during one of his ultimate hospitalizations.

Carol let Nadine know that Tuesday was when we were clearing out clothing, and called her when Amanda and I arrived to see if she wanted to stop by and get a sock remembrance. Once Nadine saw the pile of socks, she was unable to do much more than choose one pair and cry. Carol escorted her home.

Now everyone in my household and Amanda's has a collection of Dad socks. Some also have shoes, or shirts, or belts. These items feel much more businesslike than the wool shirts and jackets I've been wearing since we spread his ashes in the Pacific Ocean, and I like having a mundane reminder of his presence in my life. 

I like wearing socks with a history.

2 Comments
lisa
2/14/2014 10:38:26 am

just about two weeks ago, Sue and I went through all of mom's jewelry. Im wearing something new everyday. Some I recognized and some I didn't but it all belonged to her, and I am cherishing it now too. thanks for sharing these thoughts so wonderfully put to words. This shit takes a long time to get through...

Reply
Pearl
4/4/2014 01:34:09 am

The recognition thing is interesting to me, Lisa. Dad had a couple things he kept in a little box and in trying to figure out who gets what, the question comes up about whether we care about things because they remind us of him or because he cared about them.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Pearl Klein

    I'm a theater artist and poet living in Seattle, where my father lived the last and best part of his life.

    Archives

    September 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.