Really Good Grief
When my father died, grief took on its own life.
  • Grief Blog
  • Home

Happy Birthday, Dad

4/3/2014

6 Comments

 
Picture
Sunday was my father's 72nd birthday. 

If he were still alive, I would probably have bought him candy: Goldberg's [sic] Peanut Chews or JuJuBes for nostalgia, dark chocolate for something that actually tastes good.

Can you say "celebrate" when mourning the departed? If so, we celebrated with lunch at Skillet Diner in New Ballard, which turned out to be one of the loudest choices possible. Had Dad been alive, he might have had trouble hearing the conversation, and he would have played the Thought-You-Saider's game; if it had been post-stroke, we would have said, "Say 'Say it again, please,'" instead of groaning.

The food was delicious. (You can add a fried chicken thigh to just about any dish – the Seattle version of "put a bird on it."). A beer was knocked over and we dashed out of the way so nimbly we all stayed dry. A good sign.

Then we walked to the Locks and found the new heron-nesting tree. (In case my sibs are reading this, my birding expert says yes, those smaller ones could have been babies). Watching herons fly makes me wonder how anyone could have ever missed the connection between them and pterodactyls.

The weather was Seattle-perfect: coolish, sweetly clean from days of sunbreaks alternating with rain that sometimes went sideways and came with a church-smashing lightning strike, lightly sunny. There's an intoxicating spring smell these days that always reminds me of falling in love with my husband.

I think Dad would have enjoyed himself. He would have been glad we came together because of him, for him, for us. 

And he would have been able to eat all the Peanut Chews himself.

6 Comments
Cathy Sykora link
4/3/2014 12:30:25 pm

I think that it is wonderful that you celebrate your father's life. It is a great way to keep their spirit and memory near. Thank you for sharing this.

Reply
Pearl
4/4/2014 01:14:10 am

Thank you, Cathy. We have a lot of gatherings around important Dad dates as our family's way of grieving. It helps me know him better.

Reply
Krystal Bernier link
4/4/2014 12:58:15 am

What a wonderful way to remember your father on his birthday. I'm so happy that you had a wonderful day and fond memories :-) I also love herons and need thought of their shape compared to a pterodactyl. I remember this the next time I see one.

Reply
Pearl
4/4/2014 01:15:49 am

The first time I saw a heron fly I couldn't figure out what was going on -- I thought they were only wading birds. I wonder what Dad would say about them... Herons weren't one of the topics we discussed!

Reply
Emma link
4/4/2014 01:21:54 am

Thanks for this post! I recently lost my mom and birthdays are so hard. It is nice to put a positive spin on it.

Reply
Nadjejda link
4/4/2014 02:25:38 am

That's great, keeping your father's memory alive and celebrating his birthday! Thank you for sharing this personal post, love and light! :)

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Pearl Klein

    I'm a theater artist and poet living in Seattle, where my father lived the last and best part of his life.

    Archives

    September 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.